


Neither of us are good at Birthday cards

by porgsploitation



Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Alex is a Pisces, F/M, Richard is a Scorpio, Stragan - Freeform, birthday gift, both ruby and nic are gay, i love these two, nic is tired, no beta we die like men, ruby is also tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porgsploitation/pseuds/porgsploitation
Summary: Nic Silver finds himself accidentally aiding and abetting Stragan when both of them want to celebrate the other's birthday. Ruby helps and the two wonder if Alex and Richard Strand could give *them* a gift and figure each other out.
Relationships: Alex Reagan & Nic Silver, Alex Reagan/Richard Strand
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	Neither of us are good at Birthday cards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aproclivity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aproclivity/gifts).



Richard Strand comes to him first, Nicodemus Silver is beyond shocked. 

It comes after one of their shows with him ripping apart his own conclusions. Nic was starting to wonder (truly and honestly) if he did this on purpose - if coming to a scientific conclusion was impossible for the alpha skeptic of the “Black Tapes” podcast. He’d always be looking for some sort of truth but it was entertaining and honestly he felt sorry for the guy. He would sit - wrapped in his incredibly expensive suits and smelling of very expensive cologne and argue against the existence of anything magic or wonderful. Some days he pitied Coralee and Charlie despite the apparent number they’d done on the man. 

Other days he found the older man’s need to rip apart the natural world fascinating and pitiful in and of itself.

So the knock makes him jump and spread Alex’s voice across several seconds he didn’t mean to as he looks up sharply to blink at the door before a voice - a familiar deep melodious voice _He really have a voice for radio_ \- spoke.

“Mr. Silver? It’s Richard Strand.”

“It’s Nic.” The response was automatic, “C’mon in Doctor Strand.”

The older man had taken off his coat, he saw. He was clean shaven with the slightest hint of a five o’clock shadow (they had been recording late) but he looked anxious, fiddling and adjusting his glasses as he licked his lips and lowered his gaze. Rolled up sleeves and a loosened tie completed the look before he moved to tug it up to his neck and adjust the knot.

“It’s rather warm outside. Please forgive my appearance.” 

“...It’s fine. I’m not your boss.” _You’re an interview. You have no connection with Pacific Northwest_ -” except he did. In his own way. Turning his chair around, he leaned against desk chair, “Seriously. You can relax.”

Richard Strand looked at him like that was the most vile idea in the history of the world for a moment before he nodded, “I wanted to talk to you about Alex.” 

Those eight little words rolled around in Nic Silver’s head like a hurricane. _I want to talk to you about Alex_. Alex who had had a thing for the mysterious and grim professor since the beginning. Nic had learned to recognize her tells years ago. It was the way she’d constantly focus on his words, the way she’d be dissecting him long after the man had left the studio. Those eight words came with baggage and some of it was relief. Maybe he’d go away. 

That said, the notion that he’d go away was also upsetting because Alex would be upset and he frequently did leave but if he broke it off with her but - 

Richard Strand crossed his broad arms and shoulders before squeezing them. Was it his imagination or did he look _nervous?_

_Maybe he is breaking it off with Alex._ That was a terrible thing, given the circumstances. Alex’s birthday was in a week. 

_“I understand that Alex’s birthday is in a week…”_

_Oh God. Why am I always right._ He inhaled, “That’s right. March 9th.” He nods, “We usually plan a little shindig for interns and the rest of the office during birthdays.” He shrugged, “There’s a cake, we all go in on a gift. It’s not a T-Shirt. Other people bring gifts I mean it’s a party. I know she always does something with her family too. A skype call or something along those lines…” 

He tapped his fingers, “You’re obviously invited.” he shrugged, “...So….” 

“Thank you.” Richard said calmly, “I uh-” he looked nervous, “I was going to ask if you had anything planned. I think she deserves something special. I wanted to ask you what you think she would like.” 

It was endearing he realized. The Pacific Northwest Stories producer felt a stab of that familiar pity at the older man. It was painfully obvious Alex had a thing for him. His own feelings aside, at least Strand seemed to have feelings for her too. 

“As a gift?” 

“Yes. I can think of - do you mind if I sit?” He gestured at a nearby chair, “I’d like to do something for her and you’ve known her for years.” 

There was a lot underneath that which made Nic smile. He rarely smiled as he thought about Richard Strand. For someone with so much wisdom he looked incredibly lost. Had he been like this with his wife? Nic recognized the thought as uncharitable. Richard wasn’t some kind of monster - perhaps he was just a genuinely confused and incredibly lonely man. 

“Well.” Nic’s voice trailed off, “You could spend ...money.” _I almost said time_ , “On...she likes clothes. Funny shirts, music. I know she’s into the underground rock scene - not deep into it but it’s something. She likes online comics. And if not, there’s giftcards.” 

“...Despite appearances.” Richard pressed his lips together, “I used to be quite a good gift giver. I just haven’t had the opportunity to celebrate anything since…” 

_Since my wife._ the words were there, _since my daughter._ Richard leaned forward and looked more like a man with thoughts and feelings than Nic had ever seen him. He rolled into the pity he had for the man who seemed painfully lonely. 

“Okay. So she’d want something personal.” Nic murmured, “She likes dogs. She likes things that prove you thought of her. That’s what matters to Alex. She...she wants people to remember her." 

“I think about her a lot.” 

It’s a declaration that makes both men stare at each other before Richard harrumphs, “...In terms of the podcast. We’re both working together and you’ve been good about letting the two of us explore. My tapes and for my...institute.” 

“Right.” Nic raised an eyebrow, “It’s okay to admit you enjoy her company you know. She’s your friend.” 

Richard Strand looked like he’d been bitten by something when he said that and Nic regretted it instantly, “I mean in terms of professionalism…” 

“Alex is the height of a professional.” He nodded slowly, “But I know how it looks on the outside. And...you’re right. I think we are friends.” His features were passive and he smiles. 

“...Been a long time since you had a friend huh big guy.” Nic shook his head and Richard glared at him moving to rise, “So...She enjoys gifts that prove people pay attention to her and think of her. Obviously. But what sort of...items." 

"Dogs. And TV shows. Pop culture I mean she’s not hard to shop for.” Nic smiled, “Unusual and strange things. She found you didn’t she?” 

Richard stared at him like he had potatoes growing out of his ears, “I’m not some kind of project.” 

“You know for a guy with three degrees you’re an idiot.” Nic pointed his headphones in Richard’s direction before slipping them back on his head, “I mean given everything she’s dug up on you…” 

Nic breathed, “I’m sorry that was a low blow.” 

“...It’s fine.” Richard Strand lowered his gaze, “...I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I’ve accepted that for years. But Alex deserves something positive. I despise my birthday and I want to make sure she doesn’t despise hers.” 

“Yeah, I mean, 31 is a big deal.” Totally accidentally, Nic chuckles, turning back to the recorded sounds of the man’s voice back on his computer, “It’s a big birthday year for you too right? You’re turning 60-” 

Nic froze, “...I am so sorry Doctor Strand-” 

The scientist was gone however, the door slammed behind him. Sighing, Nic opened his phone and scrolled down to Ruby. Assistants and bosses, supervising and corralling an unstoppable force and an immovable object. 

_ `Hey. So I may have pissed off your boss and reminded him of his birthday.` _

_He could only imagine Ruby’s reaction in Chicago. For employing a younger woman, Nic had to admit he was impressed with Strand actually wanting someone who could his normally severe behavior._

_ `He’ll get over it. Just maybe don’t mention it again until October.` _

_Nic storted._

_ `Of course he’s a Scorpio.` _

_The rest of the conversation was pretty standard._

_**N.SILVER**  
`Listen. He wants to do something nice for Alex.` _

_**RUBY** _

_ `He has a thing for her, you know that right?` _

_**N.SILVER** _

_ `It’s mutual. Anyway please make sure he doesn’t kill himself trying to figure out what to get her.` _

_Ruby’s only response was a thumb’s up emoji. Nick sighed. This was going to be an absolute disaster.  
\---_

Alex’s party was the traditional PNWS fare with interns enjoying cake, Nic on DJ, and a small collection of gifts. The birthday girl herself leaned against the wall trying to figure out how to convince her mother and father to postpone her birthday dinner. 

“Mom I’m flying to California.” She rolled her eyes before lying through her teeth, “I know, I’m not happy about it either but it’s for work. It’s just by a few days...I know-No this is for work. _Work_. You know, my job? It’s the first time I’ve missed it.” She sighed, leaning back against the wall, “Mom… we can schedule.” 

She got no further when she saw the door open and a very tall awkward looking older man walk into the room. Richard Strand looked out of place in a casual _colored_ shirt of dark purple. He wore a black tie but his jacket was over his shoulder and he was carrying a package under one arm that was wrapped in a beautiful shiny black material. 

Her first thought was that _of course it looks mysterious_ and her second thought was _of course he looks mysterious_ but it was all overshadowed by the joy that he had come, “...Hi. Thank you. I uh - you didn’t have to….” 

She wondered if Nic had said something to him as he held up a hand, “I wanted to. Um-happy birthday. Ellada stin kardia mou. That’s how we say it in ancient Greek.” 

He passed over the package and looked around, “Nic said this was the best party to attend...I thought you would have had something with…” 

He gestured and she gestured right back, spreading her hands, “Friends?” 

She smiled as she thought she saw his cheeks turn pink, “...I have multiple parties. Or at least get togethers but...this is my family. I mean my biggest group of family and friends.” 

The package was heavy and shiny. It glinted in the light and she waggled her eyebrows, “...Can I open it now?” 

“Wouldn’t you want to wait for the other gifts?” He paused, “...I’d rather have cake. I mean…” 

“It’s actually brownies.” She gestured, “You can’t blame me for being curious can you?” She leaned forward and he offered that soft laugh that made her knees weak in response, “...No. I can’t. I’d be worried if you weren’t but in this case I think I may have finally beaten your insatiable curiosity.” He looked cocky, arrogant even and she felt something flutter in her chest. It was a look she hadn’t seen before. 

“But first. Brownies?”  
\--- 

Nick’s gifts were a Doctor Who shirt and a keychain of the tardis. Strand had studied it in confusion but brushed off offers of explanation. The interns pooled together for a selection of very fancy looking coffees that made her grin. _Shame you don’t drink coffee Doctor Strand._

_Out of dramatic effect (and building suspense and interest) she saved his gift for last. Pulling it off the table she beamed, “...It’s _heavy_.”_

“It’s...three different things. One of which...is uh-private. And I’d like you to open in private.” 

It was her turn to blush as the interns nudged at each other. 

“Where’d you get the paper?” Nic spoke up to fill the silence and Alex watched Strand as she unwrapped it carefully. The paper was immaculate - wrapped and folded and taped with precision. 

“I had some left over in my father’s house.” He nodded, “It’s old, but it held up surprisingly well and I hope you don’t mind but uh-” 

Alex was face to face with three other items - a medium sized pink one wrapped in that same shiny paper - but pink, a small one wrapped in green shiny paper. 

Every eye in the room was on them. 

“I guess I open the card-” 

“That’s the private one.” Strand’s voice was sharp and a little colder than he intended, “The...the green one should be opened first.” 

It wasn’t exaggerating to say that every eye in the room was on the smaller package. Carefully unwrapping it, she saw a small post it note first: 

__-XOX Thanks for taking care of the big ole’ asshole._ _

“It’s from Ruby and I. Well - Ruby.” He shrugged, “I asked her to find something suitable in Chicago’s thrift stores since that’s where she gets most of her clothing.” 

It was a necklace - a light silver change with a twisted dog’s head sandwiched between two red gems. Alex beamed and moved to put it around her neck, “Stupid small clasp-” 

“I can get it.” Nic moved forward just as Alex turned to see Strand sit back down and study the two of them patiently. When Nic had finished he patted her on the back and Strand gestured, “The next one is part one of two...from me.” 

It was a little harder to unwrap this one carefully even with the paper surprisingly still durable. Delicate yet tough seemed apropos for her - and them. When she finally got it open every eye - still focused on the two of them - let out a gasp. 

“Oh.” Alex lifted it out, “...It’s _beautiful_ \- it’s not cursed right?” 

It was a puzzle box. Made of heavy wood and a stacking series of chambers, it was clearly old and it smelled wonderful. When Alex lifted it up for the room to see there was a collective gasp. She inhaled it and watched him sit up a little taller. 

“There’s no such thing as cursed boxes. This is one I collected for my classes - it’s from the 19th century and it’s in excellent condition. It’s got a series of tricks and it took me quite awhile to work them out.” He was in his element, lecturing to the group, “Each box is made of a different wood so it’ll smell fantastic. I have oil you can use to keep it in good condition.” 

Everyone was suitably impressed. Alex set it aside and picked up the envelope before sliding it into her pocket. The evening passed in a haze of cake and alcohol before at last, Nic was stacking plates and Alex was putting things in trash bags. 

“Cleaning up after your own party.” 

She turned and found Richard smiling at her, “...That’s very kind of you.” 

“It’s a Pacific Northwest Tradition.” she held up the bag, “Oh! Since it’s just the two of us…” she pulled out the envelope, “Can I open it now?" 

“Right.” He had loosened his tie somewhere in the evening as he ran a hand through his hair. It was such a surprisingly nervous sweet gesture that she smiled, opening the envelope just in time to see… 

“Two tickets to Pravda?” she blinked, “What’s Pravda?” 

“It’s about journalism.” He smiled, “It’s about Murdoch, which makes it not ...entirely _worthwhile_ since the man is the definition of a clown, but it’s the only play about journalism I could find and I thought you might...want to see it with me.” 

Her eyes went wide, “...With you?” 

With him, in what? Some kind of fancy tux and tie? Looking even more put together then he did now? With fancy french cologne and dinner before? Or after? 

“As friends.” And he sounded sincere, “Nic told me you’d like gifts that made you feel...seen. Like people pay attention to your interests and I pay a great deal of attention to your interests Alex. The play is in two days...I hope I can count on you to go?” 

He doesn’t hesitate, “You don’t have to take me. You could also take Nic. Those tickets aren’t for anyone in particular. You could also return them-” 

She took his hands, “...I love it.” she paused, “and I think that Nic will love it.” 

Nic’s eyes went wide and Strand’s did too before she laughed, “Hey Nic! Buy a ticket for this!” 

“Gonna see the movie.” Nic waved her off, “Have fun you two idiots.”  
He hefted the last bag of trash and Alex met Richard Strand’s gaze, “...So...Pick me up at eight? There a dress code?” 

“You could wear whatever you’d like.” 

She wore dark blue and green.  
\--- 

Nic Silver was about ready to quit when Alex came bustling into his office mid October wearing a pumpkin shirt that said “I’m just here for the candy” in big broken letters. Unlike Strand, she didn’t knock. She slid into a chair with a thump. 

“Strand’s birthday party.” 

“...What about it?” Nic sighed, closing his email, “I assume he has something planned…?” 

“I want to throw him a Pacific Northwest party.” She spun in a circle, “I want the interns and a cake - maybe not a cake. You think he’d like pie? He likes things with crusts.” 

“Cakes have crusts.” 

“No they don’t.” she pointed a pen at him, “You’ve just had shitty cake." 

Nic sighed, “Alex technically he’s not on staff. Besides I’m hesitant to - birthdays are personal things.” 

“He’s on staff. I mean he’s _basically on staff_ he’s been working with us for almost two years and even if he’s got his own business-” 

“You know that’s not true.” Nic squashed the twists in his stomach, “And besides, I really don’t think he wants a party. Or acknowledgement. Maybe send him a nice card but I get you to go and see a play…" 

She was clearly remembering it -and from the way she was smiling it looked like a good memory. Whatever they had done was surely in violation of journalism ethics but Nic took off his producer hat and put on his friend cap with a sigh. 

“Alex put two and two together.” He murmured, “Richard Strand’s birthday and the day Coralee disappeared. She disappeared a week after his birthday.” 

Technically she hadn’t disappeared. He acknowledged that. Technically she hadn’t vanished into the night, but it was still worth thinking of the man’s pain, “I know it’s important and you care about him but sometimes there’s things that people don’t want noticed or acknowledged.” 

“You’re wrong.” 

Nic noted that she sounded uneasy as she shook her head, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to heal from this kind of thing. That kind of thing. It’s not heartless to want him to experience something happy is it? I mean we’re his friends. Hell we’re his family.” 

“I’m not throwing a party.” Nic’s voice was firm, “Or at least putting studio money to it. If say, food were to appear...I would attend but I’m telling you. Leave it alone.” 

“You’re wrong.” Alex pointed a hand at him, “And I’ll prove it. You are very...very wrong.”  
\--- 

When she left, Nic whipped out his phone. 

**NICK SILVER**  
`Heads up. Alex is thinking about throwing Strand a bday party.`

**RUBY**  
`Great! Maybe not in the best of taste he gets a little tetchy but done right it could be good for him.`

**NICK**  
`Warned her about that. How does he spend the day?`

**RUBY**  
`I buy him fast food. I get him tea from teavana. It’s all fandom teas he has quite a collection from various tv shows and movies he’s never seen.`

**NICK**  
`And he likes that?`

**RUBY**  
`He’s a sad old man dude. What do you want?`

Nic sat back in his chair. _I have no damn idea._ but when Alex got an idea into her head it was prudent to sit back and let it happen. He sighed. _Fuck_.  
\--- 

Richard Strand had been thinking about Big Sur. 

The last time he had been camping he and Coralee had been fighting - and despite the trip that was meant to bring them closer together they had slept in separate tents. It hadn’t been his idea, but ultimately any effort at sharing either tent was abandoned halfway through the fire. Coralee had been staring out at the sea longingly, like she was listening to a song only she could hear. 

He had been at peace too. He had always been uncomfortably at peace by the water. Despite the chaotic nature of the ocean it filled him with a sense of the peace of the grave. Like he was meant to be there. 

They had both turned in after what was supposed to be a romantic evening. 

He was far from the ocean though, Alex summoning him to Pacific Northwest on urgent business. Emergency Podcast recording wasn’t a thing _Was it?_ but he had arrived never the less hoping they could make this short. He had steak defrosting, and he was going to pour himself a glass of scotch and sit down with a good horror movie to laugh at. One of the few pleasures he allowed himself. 

“Hello?” The office was empty, “...Anyone here?” The normal collection of interns seemed suspiciously absent, “...Nic?” 

Alex appeared dressed surprisingly fancy, “No Nic. I uh…” She paused, “So there was supposed to be a big collection of people here who would all jump out and yell surprise but I chickened out at the last minute of inviting everybody.” she sighed, “Because...honestly I don’t know how you’d want to celebrate your birthday.” 

She looked good. He realized. She looked beautiful - not in some classic or conventional way but in her Alex way that he had come to relish. 

__“So...Happy BIrthday.”_ _

__He blinked at her, “You were throwing me a birthday party?”_ _

__“Yeah but Nic thought it might...be too soon. Or even too much, that you might not like it. I completely forgot that Coralee…”_ _

__The name hung between them and she gestured, “Anyway c’mon.”_ _

__The Pacific North West Stories break room had a string of lights and the infamous happy birthday sign on one wall as well as a small baked pan of brownies. She spread her hands, “...Look. I could...I could…”_ _

__“You did all this for me?”_ _

__He turned back to look at her eyes full of tears._ _

__“I fucked up. I know- I knew - Nic was right I…” She babbled as Richard harrumphed, wiping his glasses. Alex sighed and reached for his arm, “Look, I…”_ _

__“It’s wonderful. No one has ever done anything like this before Alex.” He harrumphed a third time, “Excuse me I think I have something in my eye.”_ _

__She beamed, “Listen, ok imagine there are piles of people here a few with gifts and Nic’s DJing and you...have a moment like what you did for me.”_ _

__Silence hung between them and Richard sighed, “...Alex that is the best gift that anyone could have given me.”_ _

__“Oh good. Then this will top it and I will officially be a hall of fame all-star at gift giving.” she pulled out a long wrapped watch box.” It is what it says on the tin. It’s not exciting or nearly as fancy but I figured since you’re a ghost hunter you could use...well something not so fancy.”_ _

__A number of emotions ran through his mind at that. _I’m not a ghost hunter_ , and then _Technically you are too_ , and last but not least _What did I ever do to deserve you?__ _

__He took it, slowly, then his features contorted, “I have a ...tradition. I have a nice meal and I watch a horror movie and make fun of it.” He paused, “Some people find them scary but they’re really ridiculous and a little strange. I’d be delighted if you joined me. I’m having steak and garlic potatoes.”_ _

__Her eyes went wide, “I...yeah. I’d like that a lot. Let me get this taken care of and taken down.” She snorted, “Maybe we could hang them up at your place.”_ _

__“That would actually be wonderful.” He gestured, “I rented _100 Ghost Street_ about a bunch of paranormal investigators who get eaten by the ghost of Richard Speck, _Ghost Ship_ about a...ghost ship, and _Grave Encounters_ about paranormal investigators being eaten by a hospital.”_ _

__She stared at him, “You’re serious.”_ _

__“They’re comedies. Essentially. Ghosts aren’t real Alex.” He took the box, “...Can I save this until we get home?”_ _

__On the way out, lights under one arm and sign tucked away, they ran into Nic who offered a dark brown bottle to the older man._ _

__“...Hey! So. I’m glad I caught you.” Nic stared at his shoes, “...I know Alex backed out of throwing you a party but we’ll... get you next year. In the meantime.” He nodded at the drink, “That’s not the best scotch but it was 20 bucks at BevMo. So. Happy Birthday.”_ _

__He pointed at Alex, “...Call if you’re not coming in tomorrow.”_ _

__Richard watched the producer go into the building with a genuinely confused expression before turning to Alex._ _

__“He really doesn’t have to…”_ _

__“It’s how we do things here.” Alex smiled at him, “Come on. “_ _

__The watch was a digital sport’s watch that could get wet - and Richard vowed to wear it for the rest of his life. It was unequivocally the best birthday he’d ever had.  
\---_ _

__**NICK**  
`You know what I want?` _ _

__**RUBY** _ _

__ `...what?` _ _

__**NICK**  
`Alex and Strand to figure it TF out.`_ _

__**RUBY**  
`Be a nice gift for both our birthdays.` _ _

__**NICK**  
`Can we agree that this isn’t one of those romcoms where you and I start falling for each other?` _ _

__By way of response Ruby sent back a photo of herself beside a lovely sleeping dark skinned girl, soft ringlets falling around her head. Nic responded with his own picture._ _

__**NICK**  
`Heteros. Am I right?` _ _

__**RUBY**  
`A-fucking-Men.` _ _

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Aproclivity who’s been a really good egg and introduced me to these two terrible sad eggs who just need to not have terrible paranormal things and do cute stuff but sometimes paranormal stuff can be cute.
> 
> I’ve borrowed some of her headcanon without permission (because it’s supposed to be a surprise) and added some of my own - but yeah! Enjoy!


End file.
